Lois being funny 2017-2018


Doctor: Open an eye [for an eyedrop].
Lois: Aye, aye, sir. (2017)

Lois: Good morning merry sunshine, how did you wake so soon?
R: Alarm clock.
Lois: Oh, that's alarming! (2017)


[At a food court with lots of empty tables]
R: Where would you like to sit?
Lois: I think I will sit in a chair. (2017)

R: What do you think of this mug?
Lois: Smug [thi-smug]. (2017)

R: Lunch is ready. Go have a seat.
Lois: But I can't eat a seat. (2017)

R: Which flavor sounds better? Oatmeal raisin or peanut butter?
Lois: The one you are eating at the time. (2017)

R: I am going to put some gel in your eyes.
Lois: You are making me gel-ous.
R: I think I am making you an-gel-ic.
Lois: But I was already angelic. (2017)

Son: Don't go back to bed. Let me open the window and let the sun in.
Lois: But you already opened the door and let the son in. (2017)

R: Go ahead and drink up and we'll take off.
Lois: How about if I drink down and leave on? (2017)

R: I am going to put some eye gel in your eyes and make you more an-gel-ic.
Lois: Is that possible? (2017)

R: Do you feel rested?
Lois: I feel rusted. (2017)

Lois: What time is it?
R: 8:09.
Lois: It can't be 'ate' because I haven't eaten. (2017)

R: How about taking your coat off?
Lois: I'll just sleeve it on [jus leave]. (2017)

Receptionist: How is your afternoon going so far?
Lois: Minute by minute by minute... (2017)

R: Are you feeling tired?
Lois: No. I don't have any tires. (2017)

[Looking out over the bay on a rainy day]
R: [Pointing to a large strange ship] I wonder what kind of ship that is.
Lois: A wet one. (2017)

Lois: You're making a lot of noise.
R: Is it annoyingly noisy?
Lois: Annoising.  (2017)

Lois: Where are we now?
R: We're in Washington State.
Lois: [Pause] That is a statement. (2017)

R: Please unzip your vest and let me have it.
Lois: Do you want me to di-vest? (2018)

Lois: Where is this?
R: We are in Washington state.
Lois: Hmm, you made a state-ment.

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Obituary

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Lois Evelyn Franklin Campbell 1919 to 2018      Lois Evelyn Franklin Campbell died peacefully at home in Bellingham, Washington at the age of 98, secure in her Christian faith. She was preceded in death by her parents, the Reverend and Mrs. Samuel Walsh Franklin, beloved husband Odell, older sisters M adge, Mary Catherine, and Eleanor, and younger brother Samuel. She is survived by sons Samuel and Robert, grandsons Peter and Derek, plus many nephews, nieces, and other relatives.      Lois grew up in Oklahoma in a Methodist family. She received her Master's degree in education in 1959, and her Ph.D. in Special Education in 1963, both from the University of Oklahoma. In Oklahoma she worked as a teacher of children and later a college professor, and then as a school psychologist in southern Louisiana. She was involved with education for the hard of hearing and profoundly hard of hearing for many years, and was a strong advocate of preparing such children to be an active part
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Lois Being Funny 2015-2016

Physical Therapist: Do you have any pain? Lois: I'm sorry, I'm all out. (8/2015) R: An occupational therapist is coming this morning. Lois: I'm not occupied. (8/2015) R: Are you warm enough? How about a vest? Lois: If you want me to put a vest on, [pauses], OK, I'll invest. (5/2105) R: Grab your mug for me. Lois: [Pretending to peel off her face to hand over] Here it is. (5/2015) [Massage therapist comes] Lois: What is she going to do? R: She is going to make you feel better. Lois: [Feeling her hand with her fingers] I can already feel pretty well. (4/2015) R: Go ahead and push the button to recline. Lois: What if I am inclined to decline to recline? Will you be benign? R: Hmmm. I won't be eight. (3/2015) R: Lean back please. Lois: I only have fat back. (2015) R: That is not going to work. Lois: Is it going to play? (2015) R: Look, a big spider! Lois: You spied her! (2015) R: [Walking out of his room pulling on a shirt] We'll take
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